...again...

you know...i realize that what i did was a total dick head move... but why do i feel more like an asshole now? i feel like im being torn between her good side and her bad side. one second shes laughing and having a good time with me. she wakes up and doesnt want to hear my voice. what the fuck? i am trying to make things work and i feel like am idiot while im at it. i felt so great last night when she laughed and smiled. this morning i felt like shit. like a fucking nobody. like i didnt matter to her. well shit if im not gonna matter might as well not matter by myself. because after all...she doesnt want to see me either. maybe im so despicable that this is how normal people deal with me. or maybe, just maybe, im actually feeling a little bit of hurt inside cuz ive been rejected and she doesnt even know it yet.





ps...for those who care and read along ....i havent felt this alone and put aside ever. period.

Published with Blogger-droid