Concepts grow

The mind is always working to think up new ideas and concepts for people to relate to. While you're off in your own world searching through these things in your head it's very hard not to notice how these things grow. They never fail to change and morph into these huge plans that, sooner or later, you place in the back of your mind, never to be thought about again. Sometimes it's very difficult to let these ideas go, other times it's the simplest concept to forget about them. You can never have too many ideas shoved back there. There always seems to be enough space to keep moving things back there. At some point it turns into a bottomless pit where you can throw anything you don't feel comfortable with. It's quite sad really. You can't reach in and grab what you wish you hadn't thrown in.

Lately, I've felt this urge to keep shoving ideas back there and forget about a lot of different things that have been popping up in my head. I've had a great time while I've been here but so many different things have happened and changed that I've felt helpless as to my own situation and emotions, as if I wasn't in control. I've never been more thankful for that black hole in the back of my head. I've been thinking about that place for a long time and I finally put it to use. I never knew that having somewhere to throw your trash was so important. I feel a lot like God throwing out ideas while I he was brainstorming for us. I'm very impressed with how he handled things. I can't exactly say the same thing about the way I've handled things.